“Adopting the belief that you must be perfect is the perfect set up for self-hate. You believe that your choices are to be perfect or to be a failure. BUT SELF-HATE SETS THE STANDARD OF PERFECTION, and you can bet you are never going to meet that standard.
If you did, if you met that standard, what would self-hate beat you with? And if you weren’t frightened, how would you be controlled?
Self-hate would have you believe that either it is in control, making you be who and how you should be, or not only will you be imperfect, you will be garbage.
It has convinced you that if you were to be just how you are, you would be awful. So the BIG, UGLY LIFE becomes a BIG, UGLY BELIEF.”
Cheri Huber from There is Nothing Wrong with You