How the Need to Be Perfect Creates Self-hate

“Adopting the belief that you must be perfect is the perfect set up for self-hate.  You believe that your choices are to be perfect or to be a failure.  BUT SELF-HATE SETS THE STANDARD OF PERFECTION, and you can bet you are never going to meet that standard.

If you did, if you met that standard, what would self-hate beat you with?  And if you weren’t frightened, how would you be controlled?

Self-hate would have you believe that either it is in control, making you be who and how you should be, or not only will you be imperfect, you will be garbage.

It has convinced you that if you were to be just how you are, you would be awful.  So the BIG, UGLY LIFE becomes a BIG, UGLY BELIEF.”

Cheri Huber from There is Nothing Wrong with You


About Steven Goodheart

"I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them." Spinoza

No comments yet... Be the first to leave a reply!

Please Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: